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Tom & Jerry: the Movie ''- Nostalgia Critic ''è un video scritto da Doug e Rob Walker e interpretato da Doug Walker. Si tratta della venticinquesima puntata della storica web-serie Nostalgia Critic. Inizialmente pubblicata sul sito web ThatGuyWithTheGlasses (in seguito rinominato Channel Awesome) il primo settembre 2008,http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-tom-and-jerry-the-movie/ è stata caricata su YouTube solo 7 anni dopo, sul canale Channel Awesome. Il video consiste nella recensione del film d'animazione del 1992 Tom & Jerry: Il Film, primo lungometraggio dedicato al popolare duo di personaggi creato da William Hanna e Joseph Barbera. È proprio a partire da questo video che tutti gli episodi di Nostalgia Critic sono scritti insieme da Doug Walker e da suo fratello Rob, seppur con qualche eccezione, dettata principalmente da cross-over ''e collaborazioni con altri youtuber. Descrizione All'inizio del video, Doug, nei soliti panni del Nostalgia Critic, manifesta il suo amore per la serie di cortometraggi con protagonisti il gatto e il topo di Hanna e Barbera, lodandoli per la loro comicità in stile ''slapstick ''e l'enorme influenza che hanno avuto sull'animazione e nell'immaginario collettivo in generale. Proprio per questo, si stupisce dell'esistenza di un lungometraggio dedicato a questi personaggi, in quanto protagonisti di cortometraggi di 10 minuti prevalentemente muti, realizzato nel 1992 e generalmente stroncato dalla critica. Inizia dunque la recensione, e già ai titoli di testa il Critic manifesta le sue perplessità: non solo appare subito chiaro che lo ''slapstick ''non è all'altezza di quello originale, ma sono stati scelti dei doppiatori per Tom e Jerry, laddove i corti originali non avevano pressoché alcun dialogo. Il film inizia con i due protagonisti che si ritrovano senza una casa a seguito del trasferimento dei loro proprietari, ed è proprio in questa prima parte che, secondo il Critic, sono presenti le uniche buone scene del film, ovvero quelle in cui i due decidono se aiutarsi a vicenda o no, il tutto senza dialogo. I problemi iniziano quando incontrano un cane parlante (per la cui voce Doug lo paragona al figlio illegittimo di Peter Falk e George Carlin) e la sua amica pulce, che, tradendo completamente lo spirito dell'opera originale, spingono Tom e Jerry non solo a parlare, ma addirittura a cantare. Come se non bastasse, i due cantano di come abbiano finalmente messo da parte le loro rivalità e di come siano diventati amici, lasciando inorridito il povero Critic, che si lancia pertanto in un'elegia verso i suoi personaggi animati preferiti, che per lui sono ormai morti. Dopo che il cane viene rapito da due ladri e dopo un'altra canzone cantata da una gang di gatti randagi (che Doug considera una vera e propria tortura sonora), Tom e Jerry incontrano una piccola orfana di nome Robyn, la quale, con somma rabbia del Critic, si dimostrerà il vero fulcro del film, con Tom e Jerry che dovranno aiutarla a trovare suo padre, una specie di brutta imitazione di Indiana Jones. Così, una volta riportata la bambina dalla sua perfida zia, quest'ultima e il suo avvocato irrompono in un'altra canzone, dando modo allo youtuber di ipotizzare che le canzoni del film siano state scritte direttamente dal vomito di Alan Menken. La zia si libera di Tom e Jerry consegnandoli ad un certo dr. Applecheeks, un losco individuo che rapisce gli animali domestici dei milionari per farsi pagare ingenti riscatti, e che espone i suoi piani, anche stavolta, cantando. Saltata in malo modo l'ennesima canzone, il Critic prosegue con la recensione, con i protagonisti che incontrano un individuo chiamato Capitan Fracasso, che, naturalmente, si mette anch'egli a cantare, senonché Doug lo interrompe tempestivamente sparandogli. Il Critic commenta poi una scena stranamente inquietante, in cui il dottor Applecheeks si avvicina in modo equivoco verso la telecamera, come se volesse "violentarla sessualmente", e l'assurda scena dell'inseguimento che vede Applecheeks alla guida di un furgoncino da gelataio, la zia e l'avvocato a bordo di una macchina, il capitano e il suo pupazzo-pappagallo parlante, e Tom, Jerry e Robyn che navigano su una barca, definendo il tutto un autentico ''mind-fuck. I tre protagonisti raggiungono la casa in cui dovrebbe trovarsi il padre di Robyn, ma ad attenderli trovano i cattivi, che danno fuoco alla casa (il tutto a causa di una semplice scintilla). A questo punto, il "padre Indiana Jones" arriva tempestivamente a salvare Robyn, lasciando però Tom e Jerry nella casa in fiamme; i due riescono tuttavia a salvarsi (ovviamente), e vengono adottati da Robyn e suo padre, che li accolgono nella loro casa. Il film si chiude con un fermo immagine di Tom e Jerry che si rincorrono come loro solito, cosa che Doug considera una presa in giro, in quanto se c'è una cosa che l'intero film non ha mostrato minimamente sono proprio le famose scene di inseguimento e di violenza cartoonesca per cui il duo è sempre stato famoso. Il Nostalgia Critic chiude il video dichiarando tutto il suo odio per la pellicola, e dichiarando a proposito di essa: it sucks ass balls! ''e ''what a fuckload of ass!. Testohttps://thatguywiththeglasses.wikia.com/wiki/Tom_and_Jerry%3A_The_Movie Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. Oh, hell, yeah, I fucking love Tom and Jerry. With the wanton destruction, comedic timing and hilarious sound effects, this is the original cat and mouse team that perfected the art of cartoon violence. I'm such a fucking dork that I actually went out and got the DVD collections of these cartoons, and you know what I found out? I'm not the only one who regards them as comic legends. There's directors, historians, and even comedy stars like Whoopi Goldberg and MADTV cast members who all see Tom and Jerry as comic gold. With a comedy team so legendary, you'd think Hollywood would put some real time and effort into their first feature length film together... They do not. Instead, we got Tom and Jerry: The Movie, a 1992 film about, what else, Tom and Jerry. But now, wait a minute. A Tom and Jerry cartoon is about 7 minutes long with just slapstick and silent humor. How can you possibly make an hour and a half movie out of this? Well, let's take a look. In the opening credits, we see Tom and Jerry doing what they do best: chasing each other. And here's our first problem: voice actors. Tom and Jerry had little to no voice actors in their cartoons, but, hey, maybe the slapstick'll be funny. Even the slapstick is wrong! I mean, this is Tom's yell... This is the movie's... God, that's not nearly as funny. And look at this, when Tom get cut in half in the cartoon, it's humorous. When Tom gets cut in the movie... Oh, my God, that's blood! They just showed blood in this! What are they, fucking psychos? Yeah, and here's a real joke, "Creative Consultant Joseph Barbera". That means they just went up to him everyday and asked, "Is this destroying your creation? Is this nothing like your original vision?" "Yes." "Good!". So the film begins with Tom's owners moving away, but Tom accidentally gets flung out of the car, and is forced to stay at home. It turns out the owners moved just in time as their house was being destroyed by an old wrecking ball. Tom and Jerry escape, but are left without a home. So the two of them have to roam the streets looking for food and shelter. These are the only good parts of the movie, where Tom and Jerry try to decide whether to help each other out or not, and all without any dialogue. There's even a cute in-joke with a restaurant called Bill and Joe's, referencing Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera, the show's creators. But it all goes downhill when they meet this singing gay dog and his obnoxious little flea named Franky. It's like Peter Falk and George Carlin's secret love child. Except a dog. WHAT THE HELL? Did they just talk? Did Tom and Jerry, one of the most famous silent duos of all time, just speak to each other? No. No, no, no, it's gotta be a mistake, I gotta be hearing things. I'm gonna just go ahead and eat my customary three-pound watermelon and drink my traditional pitcher of Sangria at the same time, while I confirm how wrong I was about this ridiculous misunderstanding. Holy crap, they talked! They actually talked! The apocalypse has finally begun, pigs are learning how to fly, Satan is skating his way to work, and I'm pretty sure I just became a monkey's uncle. Unbelievable, I mean, just unbelievable. The one rule that you never break, and they broke it in the first ten minutes. I mean, isn't that like one of the Ten Commandments or something? Thou shall not lie, thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife, Tom and Jerry don't talk! But wait, it gets worse! Not only can they talk, but they can also sing! But wait! It gets worse! Not only do they like to sing, they like to sing about how they don't like chasing each other and how they enjoy being friends! ... My God. Tom and Jerry... are dead. Alas, poor Tom and Jerry, I knew them, viewing audience. Two fellows of infinite jest of most excellent fancy. They hath borne me on many hilarious antics a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rims at it, whatever the hell that means. Here hung those lips that have been mangled I know not how oft. Where be your screams now? Your torn limbs? Your shattered teeth? Your set of bowling pins that were wont to set children and adults on a roar? Not one now, to mock your antics. Your skirt has fallen. Now, get you to Hollywood's chamber, and tell them, let them stop this douchebaggery that shocks and terrorizes those with most excellent humor, and show them what made such great laughter so great. Make them laugh at that... shit fuckers. Okay, so... after Tom and Jerry become friends, Pugsy is taken away, thank God, by a pair of Mexican wrestler dog catchers. So Tom and Jerry set off on their own, while running into a strange gang of alley cats, who like to do nothing more than to... SING ANOTHER SONG?! Oh, come on, I already had one song cut the nuts off my childhood, I don't need another! Look at this, it's like West Side Pussy. How can anyone find this entertaining? It's just torture! oh, yeah, I'm gonna be humming that tune all week... Oh, fuck it. So after they escape the singing cat gang... good God, did really I just say that?... they come across another shadow lurking in the alleyways. Who the hell is this? (I'm Robyn Starling, I'm afraid I don't have a home anymore) I'm sorry, we're trying to shoot a movie here. Is there any chance you could just kinda mosey along and... (I'm an orphan... My mother died when I was a baby) Sucks. You know, we have a lot of shooting to do, and it's actually about Tom and Jerry, I'm sure it's gonna be very funny once it comes out, but you're kind of in the way right now. So if you could just kinda get outta the way, that'd be great. (Aunt Figg was always calling me orphan. She even stole my locket and threw it out the window, but I climbed down and found it) You're really not gonna leave until we make a movie about ya, huh? (Uh-huh) Okay, all right, little rewrite here... All right, Tom and Jerry: The Movie is now about... a little orphan who's trying to find her father, Indiana Jones, while her evil aunt and lawyer go searching for her, because apparently, she's worth a lot of money. Oh, and there's a cat and mouse in there somewhere, but that's... that's not important. So, yeah, you're probably thinking, "What the hell does this have to do with Tom and Jerry?" Well, I guess the writers felt that the story needed a little bit more conflict, 'cause, you know, Tom and Jerry didn't have any conflict whatsoever. So after talking under Exposition Bridge, they decide to go back to her aunt's house, because they figure a bad roof over their heads is better than no roof at all. (Shots of Aunt Figg) I never thought anyone could depict an actual representation of a giant purple people eater, but if there's anything that comes close, it's Robyn's aunt, who seems to be consumed by one thing: (We've got to have...money!) Oh, sounds like the producers of this movie! So they talk about what they're gonna do with Robyn and...'' Oh, no, please, not another one! I'll do anything, I'll do your taxes, I'll shave your back, I'll prostitute myself for money, just PLEASE not another one! These fucking songs are horrible! It's like Alan Menken's puke somehow mutated and started writing music! So you might be asking yourself, "Is there ''any slapstick in this movie?" Well, there's a fat dog on a skateboard who seems to pester Tom and Jerry as they try to eat... Oh, yeah, and he sounds like Gollum. But again, why isn't it Tom and Jerry doing all the slapstick? I don't give a shit about the dog. I'm just praying they put him to sleep by the end of the movie. After making a mess of the place, Robyn's aunt sends Tom and Jerry to a person who takes care of pets named Dr. Applecheeks. By the way, have you noticed the strange names in this movie? Dr. Applecheeks, Aunt Figg, Mr. Lickboot? These are sounding more like abstract fetishes. So it turns out Dr. Applecheeks holds rich pets ransom, and gives them back to their owners for outrageous amounts of money. How do I know this? Because he sings about it, of course! I don't think so! So while in the pet prison, guess who they bump into? No, not him... You! You killed Tom and Jerry! You turned them into friends and ruined the franchise! So Tom and Jerry escape and try to help Robyn reunite with her father. Hey, look, it's TOM Sawyer and HuckleJERRY Finn! I've been watching this movie too long... But a giant ship separates our heroes as Robyn wakes up in an unknown house. Oh, my God. I'm in Hell, it finally happened. (He's funny) No, he's frightening. So while Robyn is stuck watching Captain Kiddie's psychotic episode, she manages to tell him where she's going. (Tibet. Have you been to Tibet?) I don't know, why don't you sing about it? WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE A SONG IN THEM?! DOESN'T ANYONE JUST SAY YES OR NO ANYMORE?! Shut up... Shut up! SHUT UP! So Tom and Jerry find Robyn, but unfortunately, Captain Pedophile is holding her ransom for a million dollar reward her aunt promised. On top of that, Dr. Applecheeks hears about the reward and wants to get her, too. But unfortunately, he was tossed out of the car he was in, so he has to find another form of transportation... What the hell was that about? Was he gonna...sexually assault it? I mean, what the hell? So Tom and Jerry help Robyn escape as they get on a boat, which they, of course, know how to drive. This results in a wild goose chase as everyone chases after Robyn in order to get the million dollar fortune. So let me clarify this for those of you who might've missed it. A cat and a mouse are driving a ship, trying to save the daughter of Indiana Jones, while being chased by a purple people eater, a dog on a skateboard, a performing ship captain, his hand puppet Squawk, two Mexican wrestlers, and a doctor riding an ice cream cart!? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the mindfuck! So Robyn gets to the cabin where she thinks her dad is, only to find the bad guys are there waiting for her. But a lamp falls over, and, of course, starts a fire, burning down the entire cabin. I always love how one spark can set off a house fire in like two seconds. Watch. Ya see? It looks like all hope is gone for our three heroes until... It's Robyn's father, Indiana Jones! He rescues his daughter and leaves Tom and Jerry to burn alive in the fire. Wait, what?! Dude! That's... dark. (Don't cry, Robyn. We'll find them) Or at least what's left of their charred remains. Either way, we're eating tonight! Oh, of course they're alive. They've survived Thanksgiving dinners more threatening than that. So Robyn and her father adopt the cat and mouse and invite them to live in their home, where, of course, Tom and Jerry start doing what they SHOULD'VE been doing throughout this entire movie. I love this little circle here, like "Yep, that's what it's aaaaaall about!". But nope, that's not what this film is about. I'll tell you exactly what this film is about: AN HOUR AND A HALF TOO LONG! This film is awful, the lowest form of shit! It sucks ass! It sucks balls! It sucks assballs! If I was to go back in time to tell the Tom and Jerry of 50 years ago that they would be making a film of this caliber about them, what do you think they'd have to say about it? (Don't you believe it!) I'm trying not to. I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. God, what a fuck-load of ass! Accoglienza Il video è considerato un classico della serie, ed ha totalizzato oltre un milione di visualizzazioni. Crediti * Regia: Doug Walker; * Sceneggiatura: Doug e Rob Walker * Musica di chiusura: Flagpole Slitta, Harvey Danger Curiosità * La canzone che si sente durante la scena mind-fuck ''è ''Flagpole Slitta, del gruppo alternative rock anni '90 degli Harvey Danger. Note Categoria:Video Categoria:Puntate di Nostalgia Critic Categoria:Video comici Categoria:Video sul cinema Categoria:Nostalgia Critic Categoria:Channel Awesome